Anatomy of a Facebook Status
Hey World, it’s C.
So, we all know that Facebook is the fastest growing social networking sight, according to recent blah blah blah. Well some of us would like to know a little more about the internet crack that Fabo has become. It serves as a window into one’s soul, a small (sometimes unnervingly big) glimpse into the lives of our friends, coworkers, aquaintences, and that hottie you saw walking down the street, overheard his name and have now “accidentally” friended him.
What are these people trying to tell us? What does your old church camp buddy hope to convey with her status about last night (Sally Smith can hardly remember last night. anyone seen my bra? lol!)?Fear not. I am here to help you dive deep into the psychee of the young female via facebook status. Let’s start simple…
Jenny McSluterson is rEadY to gEt fUCked UpPpp 2niTe! hellZ yaH!Now, miss McSluterson is obviously trying to anounce to the general (male) population that she is open for business. She is shimmying into her just-a-little-too-small distressed jeans with holes just below the ass cheeks, trying in vain to button them with her hot pink acrylic nails, pulling back her bleach blonde hair and pulling down her Hollister Co. tank a little bit more to reveal almost all of her bra. Not to difficult to figure out.
Stacy Sadgirl worst day ever. do not call or text. f my life.Upon first glance, Stacy seems to be genuinely distressed and in need of some alone time with Ben and Jerry. however, what she is really saying is, “i had a kind of bad day, but I want people to ask me about it, so I’ll tell people not to call me in hopes that I sound so upset that people will call and text me immediatly”. also, her use of “f” instead of its more vulgar counterpart indicates that Stacy’s mom has a facebook and she does not want to be grounded again for being inapropriate.
Abby Rainfeather ”we all want to change the world”.Abby has no intention of doing anything to chage the world other that rocking her “give peas a chance” skinny T with her peace sign necklace, and her three day stint as a vegitarian.
Betsy Sorostitute looooooves her sisters 4eva! MWAH! luv you bitches!Obviously a card-carrying member of a Greek letter sorority, Betsy seems to be expressing how much she loves her sisters. However, more likely than not, Betsy has just majorly screwed over one (or more) of her sisters and is now making a feeble attempt at overcompensating for the most recent slutty move she has made.
I hope this makes you think twice before “liking” youre friend’s status.
xoxo,C