Sleepyheaaaaaad
Hey World,
Last night I embarked on a seemingly harmless adventure. I went downtown to see Passion Pit play a sold out show at the Tabernacle. I was warned about the kind of people, I mean children, that might show up however nothing could prepare me for what I saw….
Chubby 16 year olds in sequin crop tops and glow sticks on their heads. AND SILLY BANDS!?!?!?!?!?!??!
I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR THIS.
1. Don’t they know? Glowsticks are only acceptable at raves when you are tripping on some kind of acid or other legitimate illegal drug. Sorry kids, being drunk off mom and pop’s Absolut doesn’t give you the right to dress like a dick.
2. If you are over the age of 8 you have absolutely no business wearing silly bands. I can not think of a better way to waste money, silly bands are up there with trading cards and shitty kitten puzzles. I suggest you spend your money more wisely that way you don’t have to get shitty sequin tops from Psycho Sisters. Maybe then you could afford to not dress like a brain-dead crackhead.
3. What’s with the figure skating fad right now? Thanks American Apparel for making it acceptable for the public to wear neon spandex and sequins. Now everyone either looks like Michelle Kwan or Mike Myers when he did “Coffee Talk” on SNL.
4. Some people just need fucking manners. I don’t suggest shoving your way through over 5 times back to your spot in a general admission show. That gives the rest of us general admission to call you out and not let you back through, especially when you are wearing said American Apparel figure skating dress. Then you really get shut down.
Also, I don’t recommend yelling “PASSION PIT, PASSION PIT” while the next act is setting up. Not only is it rude, you sound like a dickwad.
And last but not least, if someone gives your incapacitated friend an extra drink, don’t accuse then of drugging them. Yeah dumbass, I gave your way too fucked up friend a roofie, because on top of drug charges, I would love to get arrested for rape. (I would not love to have to sex with a drugged 16 year old… just so we are clear.) Good for you for listening to drug and alcohol class! But maybe if you were THAT concerned.. maybe you shouldn’t have asked the girl in front of me to go to the bar to buy your drinks for you either.
XOXO,
L