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Stuff Sorority Girls Love:

This week’s post is brought to you by hunch punch.

You know you love it ladies. The second you walk into a party, bass thumpin, frat boys grindin, where do you and your girls go? Straight to the hunch punch. Do you ask what’s in it? Do you ask why it is such a questionable color? Do you even question whether or not it is roofie flavored?

Suuuuuuuuuuuuure don’t.

And why is that? Because somewhere in the sorority girl by-laws it must state, “thou shalt not question the contents of a red solo cup that is handed to you by a male wearing greek letters. thou shal enjoy several cups of said mystery liquid until you mouths turn the color of the liquid. at this point you may give up mystery punch in exchange for one or more of the following: shots of any liquor, beer (keg only, please), more hunch punch (of a different color), anything mixed with diet coke.”

why do we consistently return to our dear friend and hated enemy alike, hunch punch? he is like a bad date: sweet at first, but leaves you alone and violently ill with something questionable around your mouth.

but at the end of the day, hunch punch is always there for us. even if we have to wait in a long line, drink it warm, or wayyyyy too strong (ha, as if that was possible) it is there waiting to make our night much more colorful.

so raise that red cup knock back a few of your favorite color/flavor and get out there: the bathroom isn’t going to vomit on itself.

So it’s finals week. And in lieu of studying, L and I have decided to make our comeback. Full force. Each week we will start bringing you deeper and deeper into the secret lives of sorostitutes by sharing one of the many thinks that give the faithful deciples of Greek life their mojo. So let’s start with the basics…

Things Sorority Girls Love: 

Screen Print T’s

Whether they have a mixer, formal, or a really great shit, sorority girls will make a t-shirt for it. It’s as if there is some sort of Bermuda Triangle in frat world, and if there isn’t a T-shirt made to commemorate the experience, it never happened. Without the shirt all of the pictures you took, drunk dials you made, and number of times you vomited on Lamda Ramda Mu’s basketball court suddenly disappear into the Triangle, never to be seen again. Only a pocket T with your Greek organization on the front and some sort of catchy saying on the back (“These are the nights you’ll never remember with the friends you’ll never forget! Spring Fling ‘07!”) can revive said memories. The screen print T-shirt is perfect for any occasion: to the gym, to bed, or on that walk of shame. 

xoxo,

C